I Am Healing But It's Taking So Long
by bowtiekiss
Summary: Kurt and Blaine, have a conversation about why Blaine cheated and he doesn't get the point.


Blaine turned onto his stomach, the sun was so achingly bright. He sucked in a sharp breath before he turned his head to Kurt's bedside table and reached for his phone. It was 8:24, _shit_ Kurt was probably already awake. Blaine set his phone back down onto his bedside table and sat up on the side of the bed. His elbows resting harshly on his knees, palms of his hands digging in his eyes.

Blaine rose his head to look out the window, as he yawned he felt a pain in the back of his throat, he immediately knew it was from all the harsh burning in the back of his throat from crying last night.

Blaine stood up in place, not wanting to face the worst. He knew Kurt would be waiting to talk, he knew Kurt would be heart broken by every word Blaine had to say.

Blaine walked over to his bag in the left corner of Kurt's room, digging threw it to find his only pair of clothing. He knew he wouldn't be staying long, why would he? He removed a black and crème colored cardigan, a black shirt and skinny jeans.

When Blaine walked out of the bathroom he placed his belongings in his bag, zipped it up, put on his shoes and walked into the living room.

When he walked into the living room he saw Kurt, in the old dentist chair they had, light turned off. His head was down, staring at what looked like a coffee mug curled into a ball, he did that when he got defensive. He looked up and Blaine made eye contact, there were tears in his blue eyes. All the hurt and dishonesty from the night before really settling in, Kurt sniffed before breaking the eye contact. Blaine walked to the edge of the couch on the left side of Kurt, setting his back down and sitting.

Blaine looked up at Kurt still looking away, "I, uhm, I have a ten o'clock flight. So, I'll just leave out of you're hair." Kurt looked at Blaine in amazement at the words that left his mouth. He didn't mean for it sound like Kurt didn't want him there, "I didn't want you to leave," Kurt finally said. Blaine released a breath he didn't realize he was holding, "I just don't belong here."

"You don't belong here? Blaine, you know that isn't true."

"Well, you didn't say anything to me last night before we went to sleep, so…," Blaine replied feeling more guilty the longer he stays.

Kurt swallowed the giant lump his throat, "I didn't say anything cause I don't know what to say, I still don't. What am I suppose to say to that?"

Blaine didn't make eye contact, "I- I don't know Kurt. I'm really sorry," Blaine repeated from last night.

"Sorry? You're sorry," Blaine looked up, "I don't care if you're sorry Blaine. I don't understand it, I mean I know Chandler was texting me back in April and that was bad, but Blaine you had sex. You had sex with someone who wasn't me. What am I suppose to do about this," Kurt was breathing heavily and was unbelievably exhausted.

"You should get some sleep," Blaine said not know how to reply.

"No, don't you do that to me Blaine Anderson. We are gonna talk about this whether you like it or not," Kurt's eyes were starting to water, filling with the pain that was caused by Blaine. "Fine, yes Kurt I fucked up I know this. I know what I did was an awful, awful, awful thing, but I still love you. I love you, Kurt and I will love you 'til the my dying day. You are my Kurt Hummel. What I did was horrible and I would do anything, anything for your forgiveness," Blaine's breathing was starting to get staggered and rough. He was so unhappy with himself.

Kurt was now holding his chest, "I feel like my heart is going to stop at any point," Blaine felt so horrible and useless. He wanted nothing more than to take Kurt into his arms and just pause time forever not ever wanting to let go. Just to feel Kurt in his arms, against his chest kissing the nape of his neck where hair meets skin.

Kurt blinked twice before talking, "I don't know what to do here Blaine, you really hurt me. I don't think this would hurt as much if I didn't love you so much, but I guess that's it Blaine. I don't get it, if you love me so much and you know I love you, why? Why would you do something so horrible and awful to me," Blaine's throat started to burn again, he realized he was crying almost as much as last night.

Blaine reached over to take Kurt's hands in his hands to see if he would pull away.

Thankfully he didn't.

Blaine looked deep into the older boy's eyes, "Kurt…," He squeezed the hands in his, "I love you so, so much. I was being stupid, and probably not for the last time ignorant and not thinking, but I would do anything in this world to have this relationship back. I want you to be the one when I come home from work, I hear your voice. I want you to be the father of my children and I want you to be my husband. I want you to be with me for the rest of my life. You are my forever," they were both in tears now, not knowing what to do.

Kurt looked at the clock on the opposite, 9:26, he looked back at Blaine, "You're gonna be late for your plane," he pulled his hands from Blaines. Kurt stood up straight, Blaine following. Blaine grabbed his bag and flung it over his right shoulder, rubbing his eyes trying to erase any trace of hope left.

Kurt walked with him all the way to the elevator just outside the hallway.

Blaine hit the button.

Kurt looked deep into Blaine's and gave him a soft reassuring smile. Blaine leaned in and wrapped his arms around Kurt hoping he wouldn't pull away in response. Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine's neck, his nose burying into Kurt's neck. Kurt whispered softly, "I'm not giving up on us. And I am most definitely not giving up on you. I just need time to think," Kurt pulled away and Blaine responded with a small nod. Kurt leaned in forward, kissing Blaine more passionately than he ever had before.

Blaine kissed back needy and scared, afraid this might be the last moment he has with Kurt. All the thoughts of there past times with each other coming pack to him. Dalton, his first day at Mckinley, proms, their first time, graduation, and most importantly, last night. The elevator rang and the door opened. Kurt broke the kiss with a sigh. Blaine kissed Kurt on the cheek before steeping into the elevator, "I love you," Blaine said, "I love you, too," Kurt quickly pecked Blaine on the lips before the elevator doors closed.

Kurt walked sluggishly back to the apartment where he saw Rachel on the phone trying to get a hold of Finn on the phone. He shut the door and just stood there facing the door, remembering Blaine surprising him last night with his visit, and the flowers, and the kiss. Rachel finally hung up the phone, "Damn it!," she exclaimed.

She looked up at Kurt still facing the door, "Kurt? Sweetie, are you ok? Kurt," Kurt slowly turned around, pain in his chest and tears in his eyes. Rachel walked over to him, "Oh, sweetie. C'mere," she wrapped her arms around his shoulder as he scried into her shoulder.

"It's all o-over. He cheated but it's all o-over and I-I can't do anything about it," Kurt was crying hysterically.

Rachel just rubbed his back, "Shhhh, it'll be ok," Kurt was shaking.

Blaine was gone. Leaving Kurt in pane, and alone.


End file.
